I sit before the computer. Starring at the reflection of myself in the glass window. I think" is this me?"

Then i ponder on the happenings of today. "Do they happen for a reason?"

The start to a very long night is my time with Dennis at the ice hockey game and i think to myself "There's much to be done"

Then comes the bar when Hazel told me wasn't charming enough. Well the blow to my ego was good but not managing of a quick comeback was bad. A simple sentence like "yea, i guess ... that's why the frats wanted me" And a sentence like i dont trust boys should have been answered" oh yea? i dont trust girls either so that makes 2 of us."

Then comes the stupid show at joshua's place 'just friends' which was funny but touched a chord with my soul. That's the damn problem with stupid chick flicks and i guess no one but me felt the 'windless chill'.

I smoke on the way back and wonder, wtf. Then i'm sitting in front of the computer and ponder more... "who am i"

"Do we all need love?" - yes i think we do. But how much is necessary for for sustainability and how much of it will satisfy our fantasies and be a reality?

"Do you really know who you are?" and "what do you really want" "how to overcome insecurities to attain that stage?" "how much effort are you willing to invest?" "Will putting all that effort get you to where you want?" "are you afraid of not succeeding?" "are you afraid of loss of control?" "how far is far? and how short do u come up?" "do u think you have answers? or that there is something beyond your control?" "Does prayer help? Does all fall in place like jigsaws to a puzzle?" "what brings you here" "who are you?"

Pieces of a fragmented mind. What light do you see and what color does it reflect back into your eyes? Judging people = judging self? What is self worth to you. Does the product/results > process? How do you want people to see you? How would you like to see the world? At the end of the day... does it all matter? Do we just disintegrate back into the earth as ashes and dust and call it quits? Does God almighty save a place for us in heaven?

As skeptics to the faith, I guess the only answer is prayer... and HOPE.

"Fear will hold you prisoner, HOPE will set you free" , Amen